


Where We Begin

by pagerunner



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Episode 69 spoilers, F/M, NSFW, Perc'ahlia, but only briefly, past abuse inferred
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-18
Updated: 2016-10-18
Packaged: 2018-08-23 05:06:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8314996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pagerunner/pseuds/pagerunner
Summary: It takes a long time before the first time, and a lot of careful conversation on the way to understanding. At least they get there eventually. Percy/Vex; refers to events through episode 69, and speculates thereafter.





	

It took a long time for them to reach confessions of love, and longer still to move things into the physical, but as soon as such intimacy became a possibility—maybe even an inevitability—Vex knew Percy would have to work a few things through.

He’d been reticent about affection for as long as she’d known him. She suspected a number of reasons, chief among them his own belief that he didn’t deserve it, and Vex intended to disabuse him of that notion as quickly as possible. She wore him down with gentleness, with subtle entreaties, with outright scolding when he spiraled into self-criticism and then, when that didn’t work, appeals to reason. She wasn’t averse to outrageous flirting, either. Getting him to blush was eternally entertaining.

She slowly grew to understand, though, that he was concerned about something more complex than he’d yet voiced. So when he tentatively agreed to meet one evening—and even when they parted with a kiss full of promise for what might come—Vex knew she had to approach it carefully.

She was pacing slowly through her room at the mansion, in fact, dealing with her own tangled thoughts on the matter, when the ghostly servants almost silently let him in.

Vex stopped when she heard the door softly _click._ With no more warning than that sound, Percy stood before her, still dressed as he had been that afternoon: layered in everything except his coat, looking formal and very put-together, even if his hesitant smile gave away some of his emotions. “Good evening,” he said, then bowed his head, laughing softly at himself. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t certain of a suitable greeting for…”

“An evening’s assignation?”

“Quite.” He looked up, almost approaching her, although he didn’t get too close. “I suppose it’s rude to ask if I’m the only one feeling nervous?”

Vex felt a sudden, wistful rush of fondness, the urge to reassure him even as she reached for her own reassurance. She smiled too, feeling self-conscious. “Oh, no. I had to go through my cantrips four times just now. Kept stumbling over words…”

“Cantrips?”

“For. Well.” She waved in the general vicinity of her abdomen, and Percy, beginning to blush, nodded hurriedly in understanding.

“Naturally. Gods, I should have asked.” He rubbed one hand over his face, nudging his glasses askew in the process. “It’s been so long that I—well, it’s not that I didn’t consider it, it’s more that I hoped you’d know better than I what to…”

Vex walked up to him, gently lifting his glasses off his face and setting them on the nearby desk before he could fuss with them. Then, with one hand tilting his face toward hers, she kissed him twice: first on the cheek, then on the lips. She kept it light, her mouth moving only softly over his, but she felt him press into it, felt his sigh when she lowered back onto her heels. “Easy,” she said, gently teasing.

His cheeks still burned with color. “Right.”

She tipped her head to the right, indicating the bedchamber in her suite. “Sit with me?”

He took a second, but eventually agreed, following her across the room. Just past the archway that divided the spaces were two embroidered chairs, positioned across a small table from each other and sitting in an inviting pool of lamplight. Percy looked like he expected to stop there. Vex, though, took his hand in hers and kept walking, approaching the room’s ridiculously large bed.

She sat on the edge of it, looking up at him along the slant of their arms.

“It’s all right,” she said.

Percy took that in. Hesitantly he sat beside her, close enough to be encouraging, and Vex nudged his shoulder with hers. She wanted to kiss him again. She wanted to do _so many things_ wth him. First, though, she said, “Copper for your thoughts?”

"They aren't worth more than that?"

"Well, you know me and money."

Percy, amused, squinted to focus. She had to smile too to see him without his familiar lenses. _So strange,_ she thought. _But isn’t everything tonight?_ On impulse, she reached up to touch his temple, and Percy instinctively leaned into her palm again. “I’d share, but you’re distracting,” he answered, sounding almost plaintive.

Vex laughed. “And here I wasn’t even trying.”

“I know.”

Vex let her hand slip away. Percy blinked again. The light in the room was low, provided only by that distant lamp and a faint, sourceless glow emanating from above them. Vex could see it shining in his eyes. “You know I want to do this,” he said softly, after some thought. “I have for a very long time.”

Vex warmed at his words, almost replying in kind. She held her tongue, though, sensing there was more.

“I've just been…uncertain of myself. I doubt you'd be surprised if I said I struggle with the entire notion of desire. I do want things, of course I do. I just need you to understand that I’ve reason to be cautious, and not to trust in what I want.” Percy flinched at his own words. “Not that I intend anything that would be hard on you, I just—oh, gods, I’m not explaining this well.”

Vex caught his hands before he could bury his face in them. He wouldn’t look at her. Vex stayed intent on him regardless.

“What is it that you want, Percy? Please, just tell me. If it’s anything that will cross any lines with me…” She smiled wryly. “Believe me, you’ll find out.”

“That actually helps, oddly enough.” Percy gave a low chuckle. “I need someone who knows her own mind. And at the same time, someone who’s on my side.”

“Of course I am.”

“I know.” He took a deep breath, studying his hands in hers. “It’s just hard to answer your question. I’ve tried so long for self-control, in so many aspects of my life, that it’s difficult to let go. Sometimes I _want_ to. To let my desires drive me. To take what I want without fear. It just feels too much like…” His mouth twisted. “Like listening to entirely the wrong voices in my head again.”

Vex, upset to hear _that_ was what was haunting him, held on tighter. Percy was clearly still mid-thought, struggling to put it into words.

“I can’t afford to follow that impulse if it means imposing too much control on someone else,” he said at last, his voice quiet. “Because I’m afraid that’s where it leads.”

“Percy.” She kept her voice as level as she could. “First of all, what you’re feeling? It’s not automatically wrong. You have the right to want things. And don’t compare it to being influenced by _him._ It’s not the same thing.”

He looked doubtful. Vex tilted her head, letting her tone go more arch. “Besides…”

He glanced her way again, curious. Vex gave him a subtle smirk.

“If you think the idea of you taking the reins and absolutely _undoing_ me isn’t appealing,” she told him, “I think you’ve misread the situation.”

Percy’s face colored again so abruptly that it almost made her laugh. What stilled her was the look in his eyes, so intense that a wonderfully nervous thrill shot through her. But the stare only lasted a moment before he turned aside, laughing softly.

“Noted,” he murmured, tugging one hand free to brush back an errant strand of hair. “I…might have to work my way up to that, though.”

Vex watched him, watched that anxious gesture, and asked softly, “So where should we begin?”

He looked torn, but said it. “Honestly, I don’t want to have to decide. I…I trust you, Vex. And the other side of this…well, you know about some of what’s happened to me. The people, and— _things_ —that took advantage. You must know that makes this harder.” He swallowed. “But if I can put myself in your hands, give over control knowing it won’t end badly if I do…”

Vex, realizing that she’d misread some things about the situation too, felt something in her heart twist. She let go only to reach up and cradle his face, whispering his name. A shiver moved through him, bending him close enough that she could feel his breath quick and warm against her lips. “Of course,” she whispered. “You’re safe with me, Percy. Of course.”

He leaned his forehead against hers. For a little while it was quiet between them, neither of them moving, just softly breathing. Then Percy wet his lips, perhaps preparing to say something, perhaps preparing for something else.

Vex took the risk and leaned in first for a kiss.

Going by his soft little moan in answer, the way his lips began to part beneath hers, she suspected she’d made the right decision.

Finally— _finally_ —this was more than something fleeting: a kiss that went further than just a brush before parting, touches that didn’t have to stop the moment they became interesting. Vex pressed more eagerly into it, deepening the kiss and feeling him respond, teasing another moan out of him with a swift little slide of her tongue. It was intoxicating. She also knew it was up to her to guide this, and guide him—and that was sobering, knowing how much she had his heart in her hands.

 _Gods, Percy,_ she thought, even as she levered herself up and around to straddle his lap. She felt him tense up, but that didn’t last long before her arms twined around him and his around her, and the kiss grew warmer, closer, needier. _Someone should have been so much kinder to you…_

The thought trailed off when Percy shifted beneath her, his growing arousal becoming evident.

 _That said,_ she thought while she gasped at the pressure, _I’m not sad it gets to be me._

She let her hips roll against him, enough to make him gasp, too, before her hands slid around to his front and started working on buttons. There were, sadly, a fair number of them. “Did you _have_ to wear so many layers?” she muttered, tugging at his vest. Percy laughed ruefully and disengaged enough to help her.

“There are, as usual, reasons,” he said, his voice going dry. “But I’ll endeavor to be less armored for you next time.”

She discarded the vest and went to work on the shirt. “See that you do.”

He nodded, almost meekly, making another odd little tingle travel up Vex’s spine. She had little time to think about it. Percy had just finished with the fastenings of the shirt and shrugged it off, revealing his bare chest and its assortment of new scars. Even in the room’s low light, those marks—faded only slightly by Pike’s magic—still showed. Vex’s fingers dropped to the most vicious of them, and she swallowed hard, feeling his heart thrumming beneath her fingertips. Slowly she flattened her hand over it, breathing deeply.

When Percy did the same, as if in a deliberate echo, she felt it so keenly that it ached.

“While we’re speaking of orders,” she said, low and soft, “don’t ever stop doing that”—she tapped his chest—“on me again, do you understand?”

Percy opened his mouth to reply, but hesitated. Vex briefly shut her eyes. She knew he couldn’t promise. But in this moment he was _here_ , warm beneath her hands and so alive…

Vex kissed him again with almost desperate intensity, then drew back, her breathing ragged, because she was still wearing far too much to feel his touch as she wanted. She pulled her shirt over her head, making Percy almost breathless again despite her demands. She’d made a point of being much less overdressed, so the simple gesture bared her breasts to his view. Watching his eyes widen in response made her preen a little.

“Like what you see?” she said cheekily. Percy flushed again. Vex only barely bit back a smile as she leaned closer. “Little secret, then,” she whispered. “They feel even better.”

Percy was still utterly speechless, but he did take the hint. Slowly one hand crept up to cup her breast, and she gasped and sighed as he touched her gently, almost reverently. Then he gave a satisfying squeeze—and gods, she’d been right about his hands. When one calloused thumb swept across her nipple, she couldn’t hold back a small moan, her thighs tightening against a sudden spike of heat.

Emboldened, Percy rose up again and kissed her, and _kissed_ her, until they were pressed together chest to chest, clutching hard at one another. _Alive,_ Vex kept thinking. _He’s alive and in my arms and_ mine…

And she wanted all of him.

With a shift of balance and a small but forceful push, Vex sent Percy tumbling onto the bed. She watched his face as he landed: startled, yes, but full of anticipation. She urged him to scoot back on the mattress, then crawled after him. The way he groaned when she bent to kiss and nip at his throat was delicious. She took her time at it, nuzzling at his throat, kissing down his chest and making herself touch every scar on the way. “Vex,” he said hoarsely, one hand coming up to tangle in her hair. “Vex…”

 _Little busy,_ she thought with amusement, feeling the way he was moving beneath her. She was very near his narrow hips now, and…oh, yes, what waited for her there. Vex lifted up enough to look him over, one finger running along the pale skin just above his trousers. His stomach muscles trembled. Vex peered up from beneath a fall of hair even as she traced along the fine, surprisingly dark line of his own.

“May I?” she said, because suddenly it felt important to ask.

“I…you mean…?”

Vex deliberately licked her lips, which seemed to answer him well enough. Percy stared at her in wonder. “Gods, Vex, I didn’t think you’d…”

“I want to make this good for you.” She reached up to touch him, feeling his hips jolt into her palm, feeling the shape of him. She squirmed pleasantly herself at the sensation. “Just say the word.”

He swallowed hard, looking as if he was arguing with himself—but what he said aloud was, “Please.”

Vex winked. “That’s a good word,” she said. Percy let out another little moan as she undid his trousers and began easing them off.

The sound he made when she took him in hand and slowly slid her lips around him was even better.

She hadn’t said as much, but she hoped Percy understood that she wouldn’t do this for just anyone. She seldom had for anyone at all, although she had it under excellent authority that she was good at it—and Percy seemed in every way to agree. Vex took her time, dragging her tongue slowly along the vein of his cock, feeling the throb of his pulse. Then she slid back down, deeper than he was clearly expecting. His gasp would have made her smirk if her mouth wasn’t otherwise occupied.

“Vex,” he said again while she went on working him, his voice growing more strained. She drew back a bit only to begin sucking, first almost teasingly, then with more force. He jerked again, only barely restraining himself from thrusting deeper into her mouth. “Oh, _fuck_ …”

At the sudden crack in his control, Vex pulled off and grasped him firmly, holding him still. Percy writhed under her touch, swearing again— _gods,_ to hear that cultured voice of his go so rough—but he slowly subsided. “Not just yet,” she murmured to him, while her other hand went to her own leggings and undergarments. As quickly as she could manage, she tugged them free. She was unsurprised to see the dampness there. She was so wet already, the slickness so obvious now when she moved, and oh, how she wanted…

When she moved back over him and met his gaze, his eyes were dark and wild, and so was the resulting kiss, so intimate that it made her whole body ache.

“Hands,” she whispered after she managed to catch her breath. “Percy, your hands…”

Silently he obeyed. She soon suspected it wasn’t only to satisfy her own desires. When his hands met her skin, it felt like he intended to map her out, memorize her body inch by inch with his fingertips alone. Vex sighed as his fingertips touched her face, her lips, brushed down her throat and lingered at the hollow before moving to her breasts again. His hands felt so good there, but she wanted something more— and when she made an urgent little noise and shifted her hips, he let his touch travel lower. It was only a moment before she felt one hand insinuate its way between her thighs. Vex arched into it, pushing against his hand even as he pressed up, and his fingers slipped between her folds with so little resistance that she outright keened.

Percy gasped, too—in part, undoubtedly, at the mere fact that he was allowed to do this, that this was finally happening—and it took him a second before he began to move again. When he did, though, Vex felt his fingers crook, felt his thumb swipe against a particularly sensitive spot, and soon enough it was her turn to swear, both fervently and creatively, as he went to work.

Dear _gods,_ but did the man have clever fingers.

Vex rose up to her knees, rocking against his hand as he alternately stroked and thrust in deep. The deftness of it either belied his limited experience or proved that he had _excellent_ instincts, and Vex wasn’t sure she cared which one was true. By the time he’d added another finger and began to stretch, preparing her for more, Vex knew she couldn’t bear to wait much longer.

“Percy,” she said—whimpered, almost—as she trembled above him. “Percy, I need—“

“Anything. _Anything.”_

Vex went almost dizzy. He’d _meant_ that; it was nakedly obvious how much he’d meant that. It made something in her chest ache, something bright and fragile. All she could do in response was carefully angle herself, watching him to be sure he understood. His hand withdrew—she quivered at the sudden emptiness—but not too far. He nodded once. So did she.

At last Vex bit her lip and reached down. When she touched him again and began guiding him into her, their fingers tangled together. It was that as much as anything else that made her cry out.

Slowly, she began losing track of anything but that closeness as they found a rhythm. Percy was gaining confidence and intensity; Vex was riding him with equal fervor. She knew—she couldn’t help but feel—that his hands were on her again, clutching her tighter as he tried to keep them both steady. But Vex was most aware of the feeling of him inside her, the aching fullness of it, the startling awareness of every inch of him as he slid within, withdrew a little, thrust again hard enough to shake her. And the sound of his voice as he did—the groans, the _growls_ , that sudden gasp of her name—was so unabashedly erotic that it made the tension within her coil even tighter. After so long of Percy keeping this side of himself shut away, she barely even knew how to take this in—this intensely sensual, sexual creature, and the way he was touching her again _right_ where she needed him, going utterly rapt as it began to undo her. She arched her back, cried out, and clenched hard around him, her orgasm flaring hot and sudden. After the first, intense shock of it, she shuddered deliciously, her inner muscles pulsing in waves that took a long while to ebb. One of those was enough to pull Percy over the edge with her. He tipped his head back as his hips jolted up, suddenly uncontrolled, and Vex held her breath as she felt him spilling inside her, his whole body shivering for a few seconds until he sank back down, utterly spent.

Sweet weariness hit her, too, soon after. Vex swayed where she knelt above him, listening to their heavy breathing and the blood pounding in her ears. It took a little while before the rest of the world began to come back into focus, and she shut her eyes against it, wanting to stay in that moment exactly where she was.

“Percy,” she whispered at last, shifting a little just to feel him. Subtle waves of pleasure still flickered from where they were joined, where their bodies slid intimately against each other. “ _Percival…_ ”

“Don’t…even try to say the whole thing right now.”

She hadn’t expected a coherent reply. Vex laughed to hear it, and deep down felt a rush of satisfaction at how low and warm Percy’s voice had gone. She finally blinked her eyes open to see him watching her, his eyes hooded and face sweat-sheened, and his lips quirked in a sleepy sort of smile that was _just_ on this side of smug.

 _Well, then,_ she thought, while she swept her forehead dry with the back of one hand. _Something has to be done about_ that.

Vex bent forward, still not parting from him, and did her level best to kiss that smirk right off his face.

They kept at it for a very long time.

—

And hours later, after things were done and settled and sleep had long since claimed one of them, Vex curled up at Percy’s side, her head tucked against his chest with one ear pressed directly over his heart.

She listened to it beating steadily all night long.


End file.
